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Human is an emotional animal
Work is not as good as we would like it to be, study is not satisfactory, family and friends do not understand, often make many of us have negative emotions. Human is an emotional animal, living in this fast-changing and competitive era, everyone has everyone’s troubles.
When we get caught up in negativity, it can quickly spiral upward, leaving us feeling trapped, overwhelmed, increasingly stressed, and sometimes even desperate. Unfortunately, the more we get caught up in negative thoughts, the more those thoughts can trigger negative emotions, which in turn affect behavior in even more negative ways.
So what should you do to achieve emotional redemption for yourself? How to deal with your negative emotions? How do you eliminate negative emotions? Here are my ideas：
The Meaning of Negative Emotions
Why do we have negative emotions?
Being in a negative environment
Living in a group society, we are inevitably affected by the outside world. For example, the complaints of people around us, some negative articles, negative circles of friends, listen to more, read more, you yourself will be affected, the more negative and pessimistic, the more likely to produce a variety of negative emotions, and long-term in such an environment, it is difficult for individuals to achieve emotional redemption.
Over-interpretation and over-thinking
The thing itself does not have emotions, just a lot of emotions is our over-interpretation of something and bias, think too much, so that their emotions have overreacted, the result is that the more you think the more negative. In reality, most of the time, things aren’t as bad as we think they are.
For example, people just don’t reply to messages, some people make up dozens of episodes of supernumerary dramas, “he looks down on me”, “he provokes me”, the actual situation may be that the other party is very busy didn’t see it, or the cell phone is not around.
Self-evaluation system
A big reason that affects our emotions is the three views of each of us, the internal evaluation system. Some people are overly sensitive, which leads to rambling thoughts. When they encounter rejection, criticism, and excessive tension, they are prone to let themselves have some negative thoughts.
Excessive expectations, over-sensitivity and emotionality
Amplify one’s thinking and distort the truth. For example, amplifying one’s own desires, how one must be, amplifying one’s expectations of others, how the other person must be, amplifying the likelihood of things, such as how they must be.
Another example is always worrying about this and that before doing something, fearing that so-and-so will happen, when in fact, all these worries are fabricated by oneself. Expanding on something that is extremely unlikely to happen.
Negative emotions are not always bad
No matter who it is, there will always be worries, there will always be negative emotions at times. Appropriate emotions also help the body and mind, and it’s not that you can’t have them at all. Think of negative emotions as friends, and negative emotions are not always bad. In primitive societies, humans would see a scary beast and feel fear, thus allowing them to quickly escape the danger.
Emotions are, at times, like pain in the human body; they are alerting you that something is wrong, wanting to get your attention, alerting you, creating a defensive posture, and protecting yourself. On the other hand, generating negative emotions and wanting to get rid of the pain motivates us to keep trying to move forward.
Characteristics of negative emotions
Everyone has negative emotions, don’t treat them as an enemy, don’t over-repress them, the more you repress them, the more likely they will explode in the end. In this process of confrontation, repression, we will be exhausted, a one-time outburst, may be in the end to produce unsolvable problems.
It’s like a bouncing ball, the more you hit the ground with it, the more it bounces back. Desensitize yourself to your emotions and don’t be glassy-eyed. Don’t be overly concerned about what others say, how others behave, a lot of things are not always about you, and even if they are, they are not always bad.
How to deal with negative emotions?
Learn to accept yourself
Learn to accept negative emotions, do not fight against emotions, anyone will have negative emotions, all need emotional redemption. We are normal human beings, and when we encounter a bad situation, we are going to be in pain and frustrated, or else we will be the walking dead.
Learn to accept yourself, accept others, allow yourself to make mistakes, especially at work, allow yourself to have bad emotions, accept your shortcomings, change what can be changed. Don’t be too concerned about what others think and add psychological burdens to yourself. Calm down and let your brain think rationally.
Also do not go to deliberately repress, the more you force, your impression on the contrary, the more profound, the mood will be more dreary. For example, you now remind yourself: don’t think about red chili peppers! Don’t think about red peppers! Don’t think about red peppers! And as a result, you have red chili peppers on your mind.
Don’t have any high expectations of others, these are beyond your control, everyone has their own ideas and standards of doing things. We are all mortal, not saints, and we all have flaws and unwise, irrational sides.
A lot of people keep going back to something that affects them emotionally inside their head. By focusing on the unhappiness, it’s natural to get more and more depressed the more you think about it, making it difficult to achieve emotional redemption.
Stop complaining. Set up a pause button on your emotions, leave the source of your negative emotions, and stay away from people with negative emotions. Don’t actively think back to the things that are causing you to feel negative emotions. Divert your attention for a while, take a deep breath, and go for a walk.
Reduce negative news input. Read less negative content that affects your mind and your emotions. Don’t make friends with rotten people, don’t get close to rotten people, or you’ll be just like them.
Relieve the release
Negativity doesn’t go away just because you ignore it. Some people say don’t think about negative things, more exposure to positive things, but negative emotions will build up in the background, to a certain extent, it will only get worse. Remove your mental garbage on a regular basis. Release the negativity that has built up inside and find a way to vent it that works for you.
It is recommended to cultivate an interest, it is really important to have something you are interested in, because a person who has been alone for a long time will realize that there is a kind of loneliness where there is no goal whatsoever, and you have absolutely no idea what you want. But it’s actually really easy to want emotional salvation, just play a ball game, watch an inspiring movie, play a game. Even to the point of visualizing in your brain, cursing those people you want to curse.
However, the most horrible thing is that you simply do not know how you will be happy, and if you do not have any interest in anything, hard to arrange, but instead, you will have a mental burden, more irritable.
Problem solving and self-improvement
After I graduated from college and joined the workforce, I denied many of my previous views. I originally thought that as long as I had a positive attitude I would be rewarded, just like in college, as long as I behaved positively in front of the teacher, I would be praised. But the workplace is not like that.
In the workplace, there are just too many good people, and being proactive is a sure thing, because if you’re not positive, the leaders will never see you. However, there will be no one like a school teacher to tell us step by step what to do, so we must take the initiative to learn, only to continue to solve the problem, improve the self, in order to achieve emotional redemption.
Adjust the state, positive association
Ancient Roman Emperor Marco Oehler wrote in Meditations, “If something external makes you feel pain, that pain does not come from the thing itself, but from your perception of it.” What causes emotions to arise is how we view things, evaluate them, imagine them. The thing itself will not determine whether you are happy or not, there are two sides to many things, it’s all about how you look at them.
Shift your focus and things will always work out. Don’t put your perspective on your own mistakes, the things you did wrong, and ignore some other good things, some positive things.
Respect other people’s opinions, don’t try to control another person, deepen the understanding between both sides, reduce the nonsense, overcome the inner irrational thinking, don’t always initiate labeling.
Focus on the facts, rather than taking your own opinions, evaluations, and imaginations about a thing, as facts. Most of the time, things may not be what you think they are, or not as bad as they could be, it’s just because of our inner thoughts that we’ve gotten ourselves distracted.
Improve your perceptions, find the positives, re-establish your evaluation system, and switch the way you look at things. For example, looking at something from a third-party perspective, an objective perspective, focusing on objective facts, and thinking in a positive way, in order to achieve emotional redemption.