Introduction

Emotions are powerful and complex forces in our lives. They can give us joy, happiness, and satisfaction, but they can also cause pain, anxiety, and distress. However, sometimes we find that we are unable to express, understand and process our emotions freely. We may have been shrouded in a certain emotion, which will unconsciously affect our behavior, speech and mental state. This is actually emotional bondage.

What is emotional bondage?

Emotional restraint is difficult to detect. In most cases, we may just think that we are affected by bad emotions, but in fact, these emotional distress lead to our own behavioral mistakes. This is a kind of emotional distress.

Case 1

A very classic case, Castine, is the main character in the example. He got up in the morning and washed up, and put his high-end watch on the sink. His wife was afraid that the watch would get wet, so she took it and put it on the dining table. His son got up and went to the dining table to eat bread. He accidentally touched his watch on the ground and broke it. Castin felt very sorry for the watch, so he beat his son, and then scolded his wife with a dark face. His wife was not convinced, saying that she was afraid of water getting the watch wet. Castin also said that his watch was waterproof. The two began to quarrel.

Castin was very angry and drove directly to the company without eating breakfast. When I was almost arriving at the company, I remembered that I had forgotten to take my briefcase, and hurried back home. But there was no one at home. His wife went to work and his son went to school. Kasin’s key was in his briefcase and he couldn’t get in. He just had to call his wife to get the key. His wife rushed home in a panic and knocked over a fruit stand on the roadside. The fruit stand owner grabbed her and refused to let him go, demanding compensation for the damage. She had to pay a sum of money to get away.

Cass was severely criticized by his boss because he was 30 minutes late to the company where he got the consulting package, and he was in a very bad mood. Before leaving get off work, he had a quarrel with his colleagues over a trivial matter, and his wife’s perfect attendance bonus for the month was deducted for leaving early. His son happened to be participating in a baseball game that day and was expected to win the championship. However, due to a bad mood and poor performance, he was eliminated in the first inning.

This example seems absurd, but it actually happens every day in life. It’s just that you may not realize that a lot of unhappy things in life are not the things themselves, but are caused step by step by your own emotions. They are caused subjectively by yourself and are not objective facts that existed from the beginning. People are bound by emotions without even realizing it. This is Festinger’s Law. 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.

A manifestation of emotional bondage?

In the above example, there was only one objective fact at the beginning, which was that the watch was broken. Everything after that was driven by emotions step by step. It’s impossible to notice the opportunities in life when you’re stuck in emotional bondage every day, and your emotional bondage will continue to affect you.

Emotional constraints are equivalent to your subjective spiritual world, and the outside reality is the objective reality world. People have always lived in two worlds, the subjective spiritual world and the objective real world. If you think that things in the subjective spiritual world are real, you will always be trapped in a world bound by emotions. Then let’s take a look at which of these emotions and thoughts we are talking about are the objective real world and which are the subjective spiritual world.

Sensitive, pessimistic, self-denying, unwilling to refuse when complaining, long-term internal friction, always caring about other people’s opinions. These thoughts and emotions are all things in your subjective spiritual world. They are your subjective thoughts and emotions. They only affect you and have no impact on the outside world. If you are always in such emotions, you will form emotional constraints.

How to get rid of emotional bondage?

Recognize emotional bondage

The first thing to do to resolve emotional bondage is to recognize that you are emotionally bonded right now. Suppose you have been worried about one thing for a long time, or you have been in a bad mood for a long time because of one thing. At this time you should realize that you are being emotionally bound and actively look for solutions. Instead of acting blindly in a long-term depression.

Accept emotional constraints

In the face of emotional constraints, don’t choose to suppress it. Is this a normal thing? Everyone experiences emotional bondage. Choosing appropriate ways to release your emotions is the solution.

Establish emotional boundaries

We will face helpless emotions in our lives. These emotions may come from ourselves or from others. One of the most effective ways to reduce emotional constraints is to learn to establish correct emotional boundaries, not to be affected by other people’s emotions, and not to sacrifice yourself excessively to meet the emotional needs of others.

Take more care of yourself

The social pressure is very high, and it is easy to become emotionally bound. You can relieve stress by finding emotional support, participating in useful life activities, and cultivating hobbies. By proactively managing your emotions, you can reduce the impact of emotional comfort.

Ask for help

If you have been in a state of emotional restraint for a long time, it may be that your emotional restraint comes not only from the emotions brought about by something you have experienced recently, but also from certain experiences in your growth. At this time, you need to seek Some help, such as seeing a psychiatrist.

The above is the sharing about emotional restraint in this issue. In the next issue, we will share some specific methods of emotional restraint, and if friends and family around us are emotionally restrained, how can we help them adjust~