Emotional permanence
Previously, we talked about emotional permanence, including its definition, performance, and the consequences of missing emotional permanence, etc. From the last issue, we know that emotional permanence is a kind of emotional dependence that can be cultivated, and some people may lack emotional permanence due to the influence of their childhood growth environment.
People with emotional permanence deficiency are very insecure. They cannot believe that feelings can exist without companionship, and they have no confidence that they are loved. Therefore, they often fall into self-doubt. Once their relatives or lovers are no longer around them, they cannot remember the feeling of being loved at all.
The lack of emotional permanence is actually a negative psychological state, but few people know about it. Most people do not understand that the real reason for their sadness is the lack of emotional permanence. In the previous article, we have learned how to determine whether we are missing emotional permanence. So when we are missing emotional permanence, what methods should we take to save ourselves, or how to help friends who are missing emotional permanence?
How to save yourself from emotional permanence deficiency?
Find a psychiatrist
The lack of emotional permanence is a psychological disorder. When we are unable to enlighten ourselves, we should go to a psychologist as soon as possible. A long-term lack of emotional permanence can easily lead to indifference to the surrounding environment, and even no impulse or idea to interact with one’s relatives and friends.
Most psychiatrists will recommend that people with emotional deficits try to communicate with others. If the condition is severe, they may need to take medicine to treat it, similar to the phenomenon of depression.
Most people’s lack of emotional permanence is caused by being alone for a long time. Therefore, when you feel that you are missing emotional permanence, you can find friends to play, travel and eat together on weekends or holidays. Over time, you will find that your emotions are slowly enriching, you will also be willing to communicate and deal with other people, and you will be more comfortable at work.
Take the initiative to manage relationships
Develop your own interests and hobbies
For people who lack emotional permanence, they do not believe that long-term emotions exist, so at this time, cultivating a hobby and diverting attention instead of focusing on the entanglement of emotions can better save people who lack emotional permanence mental state. And once they have hobbies, it means they have a long-lasting emotion, which is very helpful in cultivating emotional permanence!
Trust yourself
When encountering such a situation, you should believe in yourself in life, believe that you are charming enough to be liked by others, do more good things, contact more friends, chat more and meet new people of the opposite sex, and take the initiative to improve yourself. If you share things with these people, you can get a good improvement. People are animals with emotions. When you lack emotions, don’t be afraid and slowly learn to improve.
How to help people who lack emotional permanence?
Accept the truth
Accepting the fact that our friends lack emotional permanence is the prerequisite for our actions. If we cannot accept the reality, there is no help at all, because not accepting it is harm. If you don’t believe him, he will naturally not believe you or accept your help.
Allow pain
When we accept the reality, we will understand that the onset of emotional permanence deficiency cannot be prevented by human power, so we allow him to cry, stay in bed, have insomnia, and not be able to eat. In short, allow him to He showed psychological distress.
When facing the suffering of others, healthy people often have a sense of responsibility and feel that they should lend a helping hand, otherwise they will blame themselves. But the pain of emotional permanence deficiency cannot be stopped. If we forcefully help him in order not to blame ourselves, it will become a silent condemnation of him: “I have worked so hard, why are you still in so much pain?” “You?” If you are still in such pain, doesn’t it mean that you have denied my efforts?”
This would only make him more miserable, who was already blaming himself.
Right company
It is said that what people who lack emotional permanence need is companionship, but make no mistake, what they want is definitely not 24-hour monitoring, nor is it the greeting like checking in, but “I will always be there when you need me.”
Keeping company at a distance is very important. We don’t need to do anything deliberately. We just need to let him know that he is not alone. Even if loneliness overwhelms him now, as long as he raises his arm, someone will hold his hand immediately. As a special gesture, It is enough for a guardian to provide this level of security.
Many people insist on asking “What should I say?” In fact, there is no absolute standard of speaking skills. What matters is the intention. If you have that intention, they will not blame you even if the method is wrong. If you are full of routines, even if what you say is wrong What’s right can also be counterproductive.
Don’t ask for a response
There are two meanings of not asking for a response here. The first one is the surface level, that is, you talk to him and take care of him. Don’t expect him to respond. He may not answer you or cooperate with you because he is concentrating all his strength. There is really no time to worry about confrontation. But don’t feel wronged. When he gets better, he will thank you.
The second level is the inner level, which may hit many people. That is, you have paid a lot, but they may not get better, or they may not get better soon. Efforts may not always be rewarded, and hard work may not necessarily lead to success. We all understand the truth, but how many people can accept it?
If you really want to help him, you must be mentally prepared. Don’t do a lot of things that don’t work, and get angry at him.
Consistent
The lack of emotional permanence often brings down not one person, but a family. You who lend a helping hand may be his only life-saving straw. Measure your own endurance. If you are determined, please be consistent and patient until the end. If you don’t have self-confidence, don’t get involved in his life out of sympathy. Otherwise, when you can’t stand it anymore and change your mind, you may become the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Whether we or our friends suffer from emotional permanence deficiency, we must face it and understand that the current situation is caused by this psychological disorder. The love of family, friends, and lovers are always there. We must firmly believe at this point. I hope that friends who are lacking emotional permanence, come on, you can definitely do it!